Thursday, May 5, 2011

Stewing over my daughter's snobby junior high class

It's so hard watching my beautiful daughter go through an entire year not making one real friend at her new school.  My daughter is talented and pretty.  She is nice.  The girls at school will not even talk to her.  Sometimes she will try to start a conversation.  She'll sit at a lunch table where they are all sitting, and try to start a conversation like, "do you like to go shopping"?  She knows they do because they talk about shopping at other times.  They answer no.  If she pulls up a chair to sit with them when she goes to get her food, the chair will be filled.  All year she has had to eat lunch alone.  She invited all the 7th and 8th grade girls to her house for her birthday in October.  Not one could bother to come.  Most of the time if she tries to talk to them they ignore her altogether and pretend they didn't hear her.  At the beginning of the year, the boys targeted her to tease her, but it got out of hand. I requested some help and the school did help to put a stop to it, but it didn't make anyone any nicer, just not as mean...  I wish we had an alternative option of a good school that would have hope of not being worse than this.  I am glad that Ciara's teachers are encouraging her in her academics and are nice to her, and that some of the high school students go out of their way to talk to her.  She doesn't want to change schools, but it sure would be nice if she could have at least one friend.

10 comments:

Melissa said...

This is so sad to read, I really feel badly for your daughter and her struggles. I will pray for a friend for her.

JoAnn said...

That is so sad. I would be angry too. I pray that things will change and she will find one dear friend. I know when Sarah was going through a friendless time, she made a dear online friend. She is the daughter of one of my online friends. It wasn't the same as getting together or chatting over lunch. But it did give her someone to talk to on the phone and email. It helped her through a rough patch. It's so good to hear that the teachers are nice and encouraging her. I hope the situation gets better soon.

Canadagirl said...

Hi there,

I can finally visit again. I had no computer for over a month and now I am back.

I am so sorry for your dd. I actually know how she feels and I will for sure put her on my prayer list.

Blessings and ((HUGS))
-Mary

Susan Stevenson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Susan Stevenson said...

I'm sorry that your daughter is experiencing this. I was *invisible* in school too, as well as teased and taunted. In those days, we just sucked it up. Thank goodness I had dear friends in my neighborhood who were my salvation after a bad day at school. If your daughter has some friends outside school (church, sports, etc) perhaps she could spend more time with them to counteract the negativity of school.

It was sad to read this, as it brought back so many memories for me. Cyber hugs for both of you.

Gelfling said...

Ugh, this is SO hard! Girls are so mean in middle school. I remember those days, and was so relieved to hit high school and find a slightly older, slightly more mature group of people to hang around with. The girls will outgrow it eventually, but the pain it can cause the victim at that age can be so disheartening. Bravo to your daughter and her courage, to keep trying to start conversations and risk that painful rejection is very brave of her. My only suggestion is to try to seek out activities outside of school that speak to her interests, where she might find a group of peers (of the same age, or not!) who accept and love her for the bright spirit she is.

A Homemaker's Heart said...

Prayers being said. My 2 older girls have had a tough year in the social department, too. It's a very painful experience and we will be keeping your daughter in our prayers.

Carol G said...

For the record, I don't blame the school for the social problems my daughters are experiencing at their school. As you can see from the comments, this sort of thing happens in many school situations. I have been impressed with the level of commitment and prayer that the teachers put in toward these students. I don't see any school in the area that comes close in the level of academics or in care for the students that these teachers and faculty display. Except for the social experience, Ciara's experience has been exceptional.

John said...

Hi Carol, it has been said that children can be the meanest people around if that is their intention. If these girls are that shallow then you daughter is better without them. Seek friends elsewhere. Anyways, HAPPY SPRING

Rebecca said...

Would your daughter like a pen pal? I have a 12 year old daughter. We home school, so she, too, doesn't have many friends, and doesn't fit in with girls her age. You can learn more about my daughter at my blog,

http://homefreeacademy-emco.blogspot.com/

If you are interested, leave a comment and we'll figure out how to e-mail.