Over the past couple of weeks there has been rain, rain and more rain. Finally, this weekend, the rain settled and we started seeing cooler temps (frost on a couple mornings) but dry skies for the most part. The property next door to ours, an empty lot, has again filled with water (the low point on our hill), and we have a lake-front property. Funny thing is, I kind of like it! I know it took most of the summer for the snow melt to disappear from there, and in the meantime we got to enjoy watching sandhill cranes and other water fowl nesting there. Tim said he saw 8-9 ducks there this past week too. Personally, I'm looking forward to the temps dropping and having a place to ice skate. There are a lot of grasses sticking up out of the water, but I think if we play on it enough, those will disappear and we'll have new ice form on top and create a nice surface for ice skating. Anyway, here's hoping.
Having teenage girls has been very stressful for this mom. I have one in high school and one in junior high. My 9th grader is an amazing student, and she is holding her own very well in this new academic arena. What worries me most is her loneliness. I had hoped that going to high school some of the junior high antics would be outgrown from the other girls in her private school, and that she would find at least one good friend. So far that hasn't happened. Whenever we watch movies about teenagers, it always makes her sad, because they almost always have friends. No matter their personalities, they have friends who accept them for who they are. Ciara is awkward socially but beautiful physically. She is an introvert, and she spent the majority of her childhood secluded from other children outside of our family living on a YWAM base in a remote location. Add to this, her mother was socially awkward and just like her. I'm not sure I understand the dynamics of going to a private school or how to be popular. She isn't the only new kid in the past 2+ years that she has been there. Other new girls don't seem to have the problems making friends that she does. She hasn't ever understood cut-downs or been able to discern between good-natured joking and rejection. Not being there, I can't help her to know whether her classmates are being mean to her, or if they really are just joking. Her stories are painful to hear. I don't know how to help her. On a good side, we are getting close again. We've always been close, but I think she is seeing me as a friend who cares.
My daughter in junior high is struggling socially, but also struggling to adjust to the new style of learning that is expected of a 7th grader. She has a few friends from our fellowship, so I tend to worry more about her academic struggles. She can't seem to grasp the whole thing of getting an assignment and keeping up with due dates, especially when it is a multi-due date assignment. She can keep up with assignments assigned one day and due the next - no problem. She totally forgets about the journal assignments due weekly, or the assignments that are due in the future. I've gotten her a student planner. She doesn't use it. I've explained its use to her time and again. Still I face today where she had two major writing assignments due today and she didn't know it. What is a mother to do? I'm so glad that this is junior high, so we have two years to get this ironed out before high school begins!
The following are some pics from fall around here... some are the new lake we have, and some are just random fall shots.
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| The new lake beside our house |
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| Isnt' this swing pretty with all the fall leaves? Tim made it this year. |
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| Our hoop houses were flooded too. This ground didn't get wet like this with even the spring flooding. We were glad they were raised beds. I don't think anything got ruined. |
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| This is our street with the leaves in full color. Most of the leaves have fallen now. |
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| On one of the fall holidays down by the river is my son, Josiah |
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| At school the kids had spirit week this week. This is my 7th grader and 9th grader being "twins" |
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| Elly and Josiah were twins that day too |
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| Elly pretending to be a mermaid on a rock! |
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| Tim and Josiah celebrating one of the fall holidays. I sure appreciate having a fellowship that does these that we can celebrate together with. |
4 comments:
Figuring out the whole social scene is hard for me,too! So painful! I know it has been up to me to help my kids have friends. Through church, I see children whom I think would make good friends. I make friends with their mothers and then have the kids over. That is the only way my kids would have friends at this time in their lives as we don't do a co-op or many other outside activities. It is effort, but seems to work.
Dealing with social issues like that is so hard. My heart breaks for her. I pray that the Lord brings the friend He has for her. And someone once told me, when my daughter was going through a hard time like that, that maybe the Lord has some sort of work for them in the future that will be isolated and He's preparing her now for that time.
The academic is hard too. With my daughter, getting failing grades for not turning in work on time or at all, was her motivation to learn good time management. She does not like getting failing grades. :)
Sorry to hear your daughter is feeling so isolated. Too bad you weren't closer, she'd totally fit in with our children. I'm always reminding Mariah (13 almost 14 - I also remind my other girls, but they aren't as worried about friendships) that the whole concept of best friend forever isn't the way God planned it (in my opinion) - that we need God first and then we are supposed to be our husband's best friend. Other girlfriends hold different purposes - one maybe you share your heart with, one you have fun with, one you share intellectual ideas with, one you share family interests with. But, I've noticed the thing that has made Mariah feel hurt, or even just observing it in general is society (by watching the girls at dance for instance), is that someone is super clingy and wants a best friend, really wants to be liked, and the other girls panic and cut them off altogether because they feel like their boundaries aren't being respected. That and I remind her that friendship is more about giving than getting, and as a side benefit when you give, you recieve friendship (just do it as you are serving the Lord, not to get).
Your area there looks really pretty. I'm so glad you are all enjoying Alaska so much.
Thanks, Cathy, for your imput. I will try to find ways to share these things.
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