Sunday, November 8, 2015

Daybook Entry

For Today... November 8, 2015

Outside my window...  the sun is shining, the air is cool.  I'm loving our beautiful fall.

I am thinking...  if something doesn't work soon in improving my daughter's health, I am gonna go crazy.

I am thankful...  for the good weather, good kids and good friends.

In the kitchen...  yummy pumpkin chocolate chip muffins.

I am wearing...  jammies.

I am creating...  nothing.

I am wondering...  how we will ever get Pumpkin better.

I am reading...  The School for Good and Evil and listening to Gone with the Wind on audiobook.

I am hoping...  the GI docs will help us move on to a medication that works better for my daughter's Crohn's disease.

I am looking forward to...  heaven.

Around the house...  my two girls are sick, and I have no motivation to clean or cook.  I'm overwhelmed with Pumpkin's health issues.

One of my favorite things...  a beautiful, crisp, lazy fall day.

Highlights from this past week...  I'm working two days a week now at Ready Care in Sterling.  Little Buddy had a basketball game yesterday morning, and did a fabulous job playing in a small ensemble in the afternoon - A Theme from Jurassic Park.

A few plans for the next week...  playing things one day at a time, hoping Bunnies doesn't get too sick.  I'm not sure I can handle any more health issues.


Illinois Lori said...

Hi Carol! I'm so sorry to hear about the illnesses you continue to deal with. I don't know what it is to go through Crohn's with a precious child, but I do know what it is to feel at the end of my strength...body and mind...with a child with a different chronic illness that just won't quit. All I can say to you is that God has used these things to bring me to the end of empty me of my inner strength (and pride in that strength and ability) which, in turn, led me into the most beautiful and loving and comforting, precious arms I've ever known, Jesus' arms. It helped to open my eyes not to the simplicity of the Gospel...I was already His...but to the truths Jesus tells in Scripture about Who He is, Why He came (to save is just the beginning), and what ALL of what I and my loved ones go through is all about. It's that "peace that passes understanding" thing :-)

One of the things that helped me to get through the exhausting and frightening nights when my son was so very, very sick and I was on no sleep and having my own anxiety attacks was to shift my paradigm to the understanding that my role wasn't to heal him...I couldn't. My role was to SERVE him as God took HIM on HIS own journey of faith, the outcome of which will have eternal ramifications. It didn't mean that I got more sleep, or that my son didn't need me to walk the tough hours alongside of him. It just meant that I understood that the battle would be HIS to own, and to live with for as long as God allows (hopefully a long time). God gave me skills as an RN, and you have them as a PA, and sometimes that makes it worse for us because we also adopt that professional role as we provide care and assistance for our kids. But as you find strength in your faith in Christ, the most important thing you can do is to pass that along to your precious daughter, so she can draw upon it as SHE battles HER illness.

I will join you in praying for wisdom for her doctors, and for them to find a med or combo of meds that will work better for her...precious girl, praying for relief for you both!

John said...

Hi Carol, I know how tough it is to deal with illnesses. I deal with both of them on a daily basis, my Diabetes and my PTSD. Some days I'm not sure which is worse. One thing I can't imagine is, the toll it takes on parents/parent when it's your child. One thing you are gifted with is, you have a family and lots of support. You have each other and hold on to the thought that, one day there will be a cure. Think about the day and not what is in the future. I know, it's easier to say. I believe you are a good family and strong. Hoping for good things to come.

Carol said...

Thank you, Lori and John.. Those words are encouraging.

Jennifer Hoots said...

I will pray for you, my friend.

... chasing slow said...

((((oh hugs)))) I'm pausing to pray that health be restored. It's close to my heart right now, too. I can relate to the exhaustion and the constant research to try and help. The Father's arms are wrapped around you to give you comfort during these hard days.

JoAnn said...

Continuing to pray for all of you.